Clean the f'n counter!

I imagine this being covered completely with ants when I'm gone on my two-week vacation. I may need to have my twin visit to see what the place looks like when I'm not even in the country!

Dehydration

Why is refilling the water one of the most difficult tasks for my husband to do?

I woke up this morning to find the nearly empty water pitcher thingy perched atop the counter a mere few inches away from the sink.

This is not uncommon. It's just usually still inSIDE the fridge. So this is a step in the right direction. I guess.

Who Cares About Safety?!

Apparently not my husband!

I found this on the table last night. I gave him until this morning to see if he'd put it back up to ensure my safety in our home- which is where I also work.

No such luck.

Boxer Short Alley

Sometimes shoe alley gets overridden by boxer short alley.

Distance to hamper? Five steps east.

Emptying the Dishwasher

From Joan in Chicago: So, my husband does the dishes if I cook, and vice versa. Yesterday, I cooked. Really cooked, not some frozen pizza. Well, he unloaded the dishwasher and instead of putting the dishes away, he thought they would be just fine on the table. I suppose it makes setting the table easier? Notice the dishwasher is right behind the table. Suspicious. The cabinet it at least nine steps away.

Molly's Note: I love that the husband doesn't put dishes away as if he was a maid or visitor who doesn't know where the dishes belong! Classic.

Garbage

We have a deal. I clean, basically everything in our home, and the husband is responsible for taking out the trash and brushing the dog. And yet, both need to be done with reminders. (I promise I don't suck to live with!).

While I appreciate my husband taking out the trash, is it really too much to ask for him to replace the trash bag and put the liner back into the trash can?

Gnarly Meat

What was I doing when my husband placed HIS gnarly meat on MY plate?

Cleaning the dishes from the dinner I had just made!

Very Dirty Dish

This is what happens when my husband cooks.

Q-Tips...

NEVER belong on the table you eat on. EVER.

Frozen Fries

Maybe I should be worried that my husband keeps putting items that belong in the freezer in the fridge? You may remember the ice cream cake incident?

At any rate, I of course snapped this picture as soon as I saw where he put the bag of frozen french fries.

Wetsuit

The wetsuit is like my third roommate during the summer. And while I'm working hard all day long, my husband is out surfing, then comes home, hangs his wetsuit in the shower and then takes a very long nap.

For the record, it's not fun to take a shower with a wetsuit. It's already tight quarters in there!

And don't even get me started on the sand...(in the shower, all throughout the apartment, in my bed!)

Coffee or Tea?

My husband likes coffee in the morning and tea in the afternoon. And he really likes to not clean up after preparing either drink!

Plastic Bags Galore

Plastic bag explosion. Not to be confused with the napkin explosion.

Leftover Cards

From Joann in The Valley: At the bottom of the pile of junk on his dresser - a Father's Day card. From LAST YEAR. This year's card hasn't even made it to the junk pile yet. It's in the pre-junk pile staging area, otherwise known as the piano.

Sink Drain

From Michelle in San Francisco: Unfortunately you can't see the extent of the crap in the drain....

Floss

Apparently the husband is running out of all sorts of things right now. Because when I walked into the bathroom this morning, this perfectly empty container of floss was sitting on the counter- again, a mere foot away from the trash can.

Toothpaste

I'm sure even if we had that contraption that gets every last bit of toothpaste out of the tube, there would still be absolutely nothing left to use. And yet, instead of ending up in the trash...it remained on the counter, a mere one foot away from the trash.



PS- Don't even get me started on why he's using a travel size toothpaste when we have a full tube of toothpaste ready and waiting to be used.

Recycle Bin

I will admit that our recycle bin is a little tiny. Regardless, I love my husband's habit of putting things not inside the pathetic, tiny excuse of a recycle bin, but instead, directly on top of it and beside it.

This One Takes the Cake

On Tuesday I prepared a dessert which takes about 30 minutes of prep time and then 8-12 hours of sitting time in the freezer for the dessert to set. It's essentially an ice cream cake with all sorts of s'mores goodness throughout and on top to make it a "grown-up version" of the s'mores. Despite inviting a couple of people to help eat it, we still had 1/2 leftover.

On Thursday PM the husband said he had more of the tasty treat (good!) and saved some for me (thank you!).

However, when I opened up the REFRIGERATOR (bad!) yesterday morning, this is what I was greeted with:

(a sea of melted ice cream and sad marshmallows trying to not drown in the disaster)

For your reference, this is what a completed (frozen) s'mores torte looks like. Before:

Hamper

From Joann in The Valley: At least each item of clothing is about 50% in the hamper.

Dog Food- Part 2

Way back when this here blog was first starting up, I wrote about my husband's tendency to leave a tiny amount of dog food in the container. Yet, he took it to a whole new level when I went to feed Clancy (who sometimes could use his own blog dedicated to photographic evidence of being a bad roommate) and found this:

The empty dog food container was placed in front of the bag of dog food. And look! There's some left in there. Refill please.

Where's the Mailbox?

When I came home from a 4-day work trip to Chicago, I asked my husband if he had brought in the mail while I was gone. He looked at me sheepishly, partly knowing his blunder would end up on this here blog and admitted he had not.

When I opened up the mailbox all this came spilling out.

Thank God You Are Back In Town

From Amy in Maryland. Those beer bottles were not gonna just walk themselves to the recycling bin.

Toilet Paper

My husband has this habit of getting so close to replacing the roll of toilet paper. But, almost without fail, he can't quite get the new roll on there. And the thing is, there's never enough toilet paper left on what he leaves behind to justify not just replacing it himself!

There's Only One Coffee Drinker in this House...

...and it's not me!

Wash cloths

Often times, once I wake up and long after my husband has left for the day to be the wonderful, caring school teacher he is...I'll come into the bathroom and be greeted with an obnoxious sopping wet wash cloth that he has used and taken off of the bathtub floor and plopped onto the counter to just sit and get water all over the place.

Like this morning.


He also likes to just take his gently used wet wash cloths and place them on top of his dry towel as well.

Grated Cheese

Someone used the cheese grater and sprinkled some all over the counter- last night. This is what greeted me when I woke up this morning:


PS- Leftover squash on the counter too. Although that could be blamed on the twin, not the husband.

A Week in the Life of My Husband's Bedside Table

Monday:


Wednesday:


After I clean on Friday:


This will undoubtedly set off the argument that I "hide" his things and put them where he can never find them.

Office Clutter, Oh My!

From Joann in The Valley: When I am sitting at my desk in my home office, which I do 8-10 hours a day, this is my view:

Not captured in this picture is the third monitor, on the shelf to the right. Because two monitors aren't enough!

Also, a half-finished robot in the corner of my office:


And finally, a phone number on a post-it note he got almost a year ago. (For a fellow parent. It's not like he's picking up chicks or anything.) Still sitting on his desk. I don't think he ever called:

I Cook, You Clean

My husband and I have this agreement. If one of us cooks dinner, the other person has to do dishes. A lot of the time this doesn't really work out for me as I end up cleaning up after my husband cleans up. This is a tiny example of what I found in the kitchen this morning after he did the dishes last night:



PS- it's salsa from the quesadillas I made for dinner.

Napkin Explosion

I can only assume what went on here. And I think it's a little something like this. Napkin holder was low. Very full stash of napkins was around. A small amount of napkins came out. And with it came a lot more napkins that were not intended to come along for the ride. Husband places napkins in holder (good!) and leaves the other napkins scattered about (bad!) right in front of the proper home for extra napkins.

Hand me a Knife

From Joan in Chicago: I asked my husband to hand me a knife, when the drawer proved to be holding no knives, he went to the dishwasher to find one. Leaving the drawer open.


Then, notice, he leaves the dishwasher open as well.


He did find a knife though, that should count for something, right?

Pajamas

From Karen in Burbank: Here we see child's pajama bottoms directly under the laundry basket. I would venture to say this is less than one arms length at most. This is where husband puts baby clothes every single time.

Cell Phone Charger

From Joan in Chicago: The drawer where the charger belongs is RIGHT THERE, just underneath it. I suppose it was stuck.

Sneakers, Slippers & Flip Flops, oh my!

Apparently it is too hard to turn around, walk five steps and put all of these away in the closet.

Out of Sight?

From Joann in The Valley: My husband does make efforts to put things away occasionally. He likes to put things up high, because I am short, so he thinks it will be out of sight. I think he doesn't realize that just because I can't reach it doesn't mean I can't see it. This is in my office (the view if I look up from my desk):


This is in the bathroom:

Toothpaste, etc.

From Michelle in San Francisco with the message "I trump you!"

Pot Lids

From Joann in The Valley: My husband kindly cleans up after I make dinner. I think the pot lids have some power of invisibility in his presence, though. Everything manages to make it to the dishwasher or cabinet except for the lids.

Tissues

I went to grab a tissue yesterday, but of course, as annoyingly predictable, there wasn't an f'n tissue in there. I mean, of course my roommate couldn't replace the box. I get that's asking too much. But you really couldn't throw the empty box out either?

Happy St. Patrick's Day Anniversary Husband/Roommate

Yes, this blog is dedicated to all the weird and random things my husband does that make him an interesting choice as a roommate. But today, on the day of our 4th wedding anniversary, I myself will refrain from adding photographic evidence. (Don't worry, I did of course snap not one, but two pictures, that I'll be happy to share tomorrow!)

Instead, I'll just say that despite all of these quirks and unorganized, confusing habits he has, I love him because of them and so much more!

Happy St. Patrick's Day too.

Receipts

From Joann in The Valley: He's carved out a little corner by the bedroom TV to squirrel away receipts. I can't get too mad, because this top one is for when he bought groceries to make me breakfast on Valentine's Day. I'm not sure why he's saving it, though. The receipt just below it is from a Vancouver Starbucks. Souvenir, perhaps?